To Let Go Or To Hold...

Saturday...

I'm at Penang since yesterday ...seem the last time i visit is early this year..

While Im doing my meeting here, my mind keep thinkin' should I do it?Will I will be happy?Am I doin' the right thing?..my head keep spinning and I believe none of the meeting agenda is really go into my mind...

Tonite, Im gonna do the biggest decision in my life...I know it will crush me yet I really have to do it...

My job at Penang is done..I'm my way back to KL. Hope to reach KL soon cause cant wait to see Cookie and her new friend kekekeke I want to see how cute he is...When I arrive KL, There is cookie waiting as usual with her smile. We go directly to Delicious for pre birthday celebration that what cookie says it...We chat and giggling and cookie aware that I'm really in dilemma for what ever what gonna do tonite...by the way,Her new friend is not bad...

As we heading home, cookie is asking am I really gonna this..I say yes, i must do this..Cookie just hold my hand and says she always gonna stay at my side and I know she will...

I take my shower about 11.40pm...heck its another 20 minutes to my Birthday...When I'm out from the shower I can hear someone say Hey Birthday girl...There he is, someone that I mizz so much. Almost a month we not see each other. I go to him and he just kiss my cheek.

As the nite fall, I say the word that I know is not easy for me..Can we close our chapter, u go back where u used to be and me will go back where is mine...I can see how he look at me and he just say I let u go..I realise I let go someone I love on my birthday nite..what a nice memory isn't it...Im suprise to see how less emotion he has so I say can you teach me how to be cold and heartless person like you..Than he break I can see his tears..He says if i didn't do this I will crumble, I love you so much but I understand you deserve a better man..

Before he left, He turn to me and say Hey Kinqy give me a hug, he hug me so tight and he give me a smile..Smile that make me fall to him before and it still have the same effect..When he turn away and walk I can hear my heart stop beating cause I know It's already end...

Maybe all of you says that why should I feel sad cause I'm the one that ask for the end..There is story can't be told...

p/s: Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful thing to do....

Lurv,

KinQy's