Tersimpul Rapi...

Kulerai segala yang terkusut
Kusimpul agar menjadi rapi
Demi menjaga hatimu
Ku rela mengalah selalu
Mengapa kau berubah laku

Inikah yang harus ku terima
Di atas setia sekian lama
Kau menjadikan aku
Pelakon dalam sandiwaramu

Rinduku cintaku bukannya yang terkusut
Kuikat kubelai dan kusimpul.

Hati ingin berbicara
Hati pun sering bertanya
Di mana hujung jalan cerita
Bukannya di bibir tanpa sebarang noktah

Selangkah engkau pergi seribu langkah aku mengejarmu
Sekelip mata engkau hilang seluruh pelusuk ku cari.
Setinggi mana engkau cuba membawa diri akan aku daki.
Sedalam mana engkau cuba menyembunyi kan ku selami

Biar terbukti biar bersaksi
Cinta kita cinta tersimpul rapi

p/s:Pulang kan andainya kau tak mahu ......

Lurv,

KinQy's

Birthday Gurl...

17th July 2011

Wake up with a very red eyes...Its mys birthday yet I really feel not in the mood to celebrate..tanxs to the bold decision I made...The only thing make me happy a wish from someone important and cookie non stop wish me happy birthday...kekekeke
While laying at the bed..Im thinking did my wish for last birthday has been granted?...I realise its not if it is I wont feel like this on this year birthday. So is it necessary to have birthday wish when its obviously not been granted no matter how hard I try to make it real...really make me sick...

So, this year i wish one thing and its not for me but for someone that closed to my heart, don't get it wrong no someone that I'm having a fling with but to someone that always the 1st in my heart..AMIRUL ASHRAFF...

Anyway schedule of my birthday today..Coffee,Chillin and Sleepin..sound bored yet I feel so calm....

The best thing..The guy that I break up is with me again tonite and we can chat like nothing happened...dizzy

p/s :Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world

Lurv,

Kinqy's

To Let Go Or To Hold...

Saturday...

I'm at Penang since yesterday ...seem the last time i visit is early this year..

While Im doing my meeting here, my mind keep thinkin' should I do it?Will I will be happy?Am I doin' the right thing?..my head keep spinning and I believe none of the meeting agenda is really go into my mind...

Tonite, Im gonna do the biggest decision in my life...I know it will crush me yet I really have to do it...

My job at Penang is done..I'm my way back to KL. Hope to reach KL soon cause cant wait to see Cookie and her new friend kekekeke I want to see how cute he is...When I arrive KL, There is cookie waiting as usual with her smile. We go directly to Delicious for pre birthday celebration that what cookie says it...We chat and giggling and cookie aware that I'm really in dilemma for what ever what gonna do tonite...by the way,Her new friend is not bad...

As we heading home, cookie is asking am I really gonna this..I say yes, i must do this..Cookie just hold my hand and says she always gonna stay at my side and I know she will...

I take my shower about 11.40pm...heck its another 20 minutes to my Birthday...When I'm out from the shower I can hear someone say Hey Birthday girl...There he is, someone that I mizz so much. Almost a month we not see each other. I go to him and he just kiss my cheek.

As the nite fall, I say the word that I know is not easy for me..Can we close our chapter, u go back where u used to be and me will go back where is mine...I can see how he look at me and he just say I let u go..I realise I let go someone I love on my birthday nite..what a nice memory isn't it...Im suprise to see how less emotion he has so I say can you teach me how to be cold and heartless person like you..Than he break I can see his tears..He says if i didn't do this I will crumble, I love you so much but I understand you deserve a better man..

Before he left, He turn to me and say Hey Kinqy give me a hug, he hug me so tight and he give me a smile..Smile that make me fall to him before and it still have the same effect..When he turn away and walk I can hear my heart stop beating cause I know It's already end...

Maybe all of you says that why should I feel sad cause I'm the one that ask for the end..There is story can't be told...

p/s: Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful thing to do....

Lurv,

KinQy's

Friendship and Betrayal

Last night I receive a call from old friend. I know her almost 10 year. We used to hang out together until recently we being buzy with other thing in our life.

The first sentence I heard from her is ‘I’m doomed beb’..its make me raise my eyebrow.She start the conversation buy saying sorry for betray the friendship. Me and her have another friend. Let say we are like three stooges the only thing is 3 of us look good… Let me just put a name so u guys understand. Her Name is Laila and another Friend of us is Nazra.

This is how her story start. Laila is falling in love with Nazra boyfriend. I know him too cause Nazra always brought him along for coffee. How that happened ?..because he always there. To make thing worst he seem to like Laila too. Now he date 2 girl and they are best friend.

I told her that I understand heart is the part in our body that we cannot control but to take good friend boyfriend is really not cool. Even to romance good friend ex-guy also not in the dictionary esp mine. I ask her again how is it feel to see Nazra face smilling at you and she trust you, little she knows that you was stabbing her back. I told Laila to tell Nazra about it if not I will..Nazra and Laila is different girls with different charm...From I see the guy has the best time of his life cause he dating 2 good friend that love him so much.

You guys must be thinking I’m crazy to ask Laila to do that. For me good friend are more important than boyfriend. How you want to trust a man that you know in just 3 month over a friend that you know almost the rest of my life?… I know sometimes we cannot stop when we fall but just think this. If you continue and being a selfish bitch and betray friend that trust you, u will hurt some many heart but if you stop now the only person hurt is you…Trust me you hurt now but you will feel better soon…

True friend u have to work hard to find.All best friends are friends, but not all friends can be best friends.In this world of cynics & back stabbers,there are still some people who are worth being friends with..I ask you guys..Did you ever ever really never betray your friend?...If you did trust me this, soon your turn will come..u will get betrayed...Just be prepared.

p/s: you will know who is your true friend when your having drama with other people and he or she is standing right next to you….not leaving you behind when things get ugly!!

Lurv,

KinQy's

Bones Or Meat...

The sky look so yummieh today (If that the right phrase)

I’m having my lunch today with few of my staff. While we munching the chicken rice, one of the girls keep complaining she’s fat and its make my jaw drop cause from what I see she is so skinny I’m talking about bone skinny that I'm sure that she can put water at her collar bone and it wont spilled.

Because of her, I was thinking is it so important to have a skinny body like a model like. I often read about how some girls stop eating just to fit in 0 size clothes…there is a lot of type diet method and pills is on the market. Its really grow like a mushroom. Case of bulimia and anorexia seem just a normal thing in the news.

As for me, I don’t have body like a model that can pull 0 size clothes yet I'm so happy in my skin. I got curves that I’m so proud off. I still can make man drooling and dreaming how is it look behind the chiffon dress I wear. For sure its not bone..

Some girl want to look so skinny until they become so flat just to impressed a guy. Take my advise take a guy that love you for what you are. By the way it’s the season now man prefer meat…

p/s: Its ok to be voluptuous cause the word already saying it how sizzling hot you are

Lurv,

KinQy's

Day Goes By

Dear Wednesday,

Its seem u approach but to me this time around you come to fast and its make me scared. Thursday and Friday is going to say hello soon and that make me more worried. I wish I can hold the time and make it stop. If that possible I will start runnin’ back to the day that I really wanna erase a lot of thing and when I think of it there is so many days of my life need a little touch up hmm big touch up exactly…

The question in my head

1- Am I being too nice

2- Am I being too naïve

3- Am I being too trusty

4- Am I being too stupid

5- Am I being too……

There is so many word ‘Am I’…I know I’m always make a mistake for being outspoken yet to think of it well I’m proud of myself for not being hypocrite. I say what I want and do anything I wanna do.

Sometimes life comes at you fast. The least you should know is that you can do anything if you try, and that nothing can stop you. You are what you say you are, and no one can take that away from you. Life is that valuable thing that is unique to you. No one can change it,just you. And endure till the end! The battles not done until you really down

I believe everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself...

p/s: I’m the author of my life,unfortunately, I’m writing in pen and can’t erase my mistakes…

Lurv,

KinQy's

Have You Ever?..

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, its so real and it gets inside you and rips you-apart..The Pain Is To Much To Bare...

(This Picture Was Taken on The Night That Change My Life)

p/s: If my fake smile can deceive you, its so obvious you really dont understand me

Lurv,

KinQy's

Memories...

My birthday is just around the corner…

I just realize times really goes by. I still remember when I was a kid my birthday maybe not being celebrate in a big way with fireworks or 100 guest to sing a birthday song nor to have it at 5 star hotel. It’s just me, my late parent and my little sister. Small cake and cold drink yet I’m so happy when my mom will kiss me and say that how proud she is with me. My dad always smile, kiss my forehead and surprise me with a small teddy bear while my small sister look at me with jealousy kekekeke. The warm Bear hug they gave me and the Birthday song they sing still linger in my ears. For me I will trade anything to have all that again...even just for a day...

As for now, I just want to celebrate my birthday in very quiet place with loved one and good friend. I want to have just a cozy chat over a coffee. Talk and laugh…. Hope this time no tears, no sadness … I want to be happy…that’s not so much to ask isn’t it…The truth, I wish someone that I want will be there too....


P/s : Don’t give me expensive gift, just give me what is belong to me…ur heart and ur smile…

Lurv,

KinQy's

Life...

Its beginning of the week again. Drag myself to the bathroom and as usual eyes still close even the water is totally damn cold..

When I'm on the way the office today,I keep thinkin'.I had talked about my fear for regrets in my life, and how I wanted to fine tune my life so that I don’t end up saying “I wish I had..” at the end of the road.

Till today, I constantly do that. I would ask myself if there are things I really want to. Or goals I really want to achieve. And I don’t let myself sit around waiting for it to happen...

I come to conclusion, How Hard I try I still gonna do the same mistake and the regret will follow after that but whatever it is I'm still human....And for me I enjoy the good things and I learn from the mistake

p/s: Life is simple yet people make it difficult

Lurv,

KinQy's

Well Well Well

Sunday Morning...Wake up at 9.00am..Hate my brain system, its just ring and totally forget that its weekend and I need more sleep.

The best thing today I learn one thing. When a guy start to know that there is another guy like his girl, he will start to worry and will just do anything to make sure the girl is his even though its really childish....kekekeke...feel nice exactly.. Now I like the game...The best statement from the other guy is ' Once his forget to hold your hand, I will slide in and that time his lost and I will win'...I like his statement but my heart still belong to the same man..Need to try harder la baby!...

So people, Monday is approaching...gear up,choose a nice office attire and girls dont forget the concealer to cover your eye bag due to Saturday nite..its still there u know!

Lurv,

KinQy's

Buzy Saturday

Wake up at 8am..Tq you to my BB notification for my pills alert...Dont get it wrong people its not birth control pill its for my diet (Like its workin')...Start the day with Lunch with old Friend. Tq for something that happened due to some unsatisfied people I'm stuck in roadblock...I'm so happy still for meeting old friend...He such a darlin'..As we chat time really goes by...

On the way home his word stuck in my head ' Hey babe, u control ur life not anyone else, its ok to be a bitch yet people can't touch you'...hmmm I'm still trying to understand what that's mean...

Until Next time people or maybe tomorrow...Have a nice weekend..As for me I can't wait for Sunday wink2

Lurv,

KinQy's

Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse Of The Heart

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART (Bonnie Tyler )

Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

** This song make me suffocate...yet its make me addicted to it...

Lurv,

KinQy's

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Had My Baffy as usual today well with Ice Lemon Tea, sorry aunt nadya for not listenin' what u said about women shouldn't drink ice cause its bad for women personal part*cannot say it in a blunt word*

Start my work in front of my lappy..Feel so bored.. TGif isnt it?..One of my staff came by and see my picture at the wall and ask why do I looked different during office and after office like a chameleon. Well I answer her I being a cooperate lady at the office cause I'm a PA, I represent my boss. As for outside the office, I'm the boss to myself and do what ever I want..

I always wonder why people change for other people esp when they meet someone they loves..That ridiculous.. Like my late dad use to says that be with someone that wont change you but to complete you. That's totally true isn't it?..Every time I stand in front of my mirror, make me thinking should I change to be someone else? when I love myself and confident with anything I do....So I always do this and all of you should do the the same ' Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Whose The Hottest Among All?..Smile and You know you are looking at that Person..Its You...'

p/s* doin' something stupid again, smsing somebody that obviously not going to reply back.. :(

Lurv,

KinQy's

LET'S THE STORY BEGAN

For me to start from the beginning of my life is a bit impossible isn't it? Let me start from 1st May 2011..How My life really change

Its Start From Him...

30th April 2011...

As usual its Sat Nite, well said ladies nite for me. Ish2 call me for a gurls nite out it just there is a man will be with us..AD..u will found out more about AD when u read Ish2 blog or maybe he became on and off guest in my blog..wink2...
When the nite fall...Me,Ish2 aka cookie and AD is heading out to Changkat. Im a regular at changkat and my attention is always just to have nice drink and chat with my closest friend but sometimes just need to *clean* dusty eyes by lookin' at hot man kekekeke...that what all the gurls do isn't it. Little that I know there is someone here at changkat that I'm gonna meet that make my heart beating faster than train...
Our 1st stop is Socialite, its a nice club and very cosy. The best thing Ish2 ask me to get close to AD when obviously he is her type and not mine..duh!...We have a good drink, dance and laugh. Im happy to see that Ish2 and AD get comfy to each other. AD come out with idea that we should change club like he said hoop-in in different club at changkat is a must. What a statement!...So follow AD idea, we out and lookin' for other spot. There is one spot that have a green Light * I can't mention name here*..Just becasue of the green light, we scroll in. We order a drink and well the music is very good...I just stand and have a small dance. I turn my head to the the stair, there he is coming down, smiling at me and for no apparent reason I smile back.

As the night goes by, Me and Ish2 seem to see star. We moved to sit outside the club. To tell the truth I cant even remember what we talking about...Out of sudden there is guy come next to me and ask for my no and as usual I said give me ur no and let see if I want to call u or not but the best thing happen after that, the man that smile slide in front of his friend*ya they are friend* and says that his number is better than his friend, well I don't know what is that supposed to mean yet the same answer I gave his friend I gave it to him.

As we heading home, I can't barely walk and out of nowhere there is hand that catch me and there you goes, the man that smile at me is holding me and something catch my frozen brain 'God, what a nice teeth he has and plus with that sweet smile, I'm doomed'...He offer me to sent me to the car yet I can't remember where is the car and to ask Ish2 well she's busy with AD kekekeke....Yet stubborn me, I just say I can walk and find the car myself..Then he let his hand go *the truth I wish he hold me longer*. When I see my BB its show 1st May 2011..Seems the date is like a blessing or curse for me...

You think this end of the story..well its just began...I will continue when I got the courage to write..

Lurv,

KinQy's

Its Started Now July 2011

Ehem..Ehem...(Nervous)
I Start this virtual diary or online diary because of Cookie aka Ish2. I'm still trying to figure out what to write in here. Should I pour out all I feel in here to let the whole world read it hmmmm hell why not...I really don't care anyway..
Above is the picture of me Muffin aka Kinqy and Cookie aka Ish2..
I want to write more about us but well u all can read it at her blog here http://lerockinish.blogspot.com/
To Cookie...tq u for being a friend to me....Lurv ya.

Lurv,

KinQy's